How Can My Birth Partner Support Me in Early Labour?
Many women find having their back massaged between or during contractions can help. Using massage oil can make this easier. However some women will not like being massaged in early labour and will prefer not to be touched by anyone.
Both of these preferences are normal and you just need to find out what works for you. What works for some part of the time you spend in early labour may not work as labour progresses, so having a birth partner that can adapt and listen to what you are asking them to do is important.
I found having someone massage my lower back (was helpful)
(I taught) my husband some techniques for helping me cope – massage etc.
A hand on my lower back gave relief
Your birth partner may be able to remind you of some of the things you had planned to do in early labour at home. This may be reminding you to eat regularly by fetching you snacks, or making you drinks and reminding you to stay hydrated. Having someone there you trust to remind you to regularly use the toilet can be a good thing too as keeping your bladder empty is important.
He mainly made lunch and operated the DVD player!
Ensure that the back up you have as a birth partner is a great communicator, sensitive to what is required of them in the moment and to your needs. They are your advocate!
He offered words of encouragement, told me he loved me and asked what he could do to help
My bags were all packed, with a list of the last minute items I expected my husband to pack (phone charger and my phone) which meant I knew I didn’t have to worry about these at a later stage
(My birth partner) ran me a warm bath and then, when we ran out of hot water, he kept the bath topped up with hot water by having 4 saucepans and a kettle on the go for several hours!
Steve reminded me that early labour can take a really long time… he had read how common self doubt is after things have been going on for a long time
It is a good idea to put your birth partner in charge of organising the last few things. It is worth having useful telephone numbers for Labour Line, the birth centres or the hospital to hand.
When you are in early labour at home you should focus on remaining calm and let your birth partner pack any last bits into your birth bag such as mobile phones and chargers. Hopefully this means you can stay relaxed.
Sometimes just having someone you trust with you during your labour is enough. It can be difficult, especially with your first baby, to know what you will want to do during labour. Birth partners can sometimes feel as if they don’t know how to help. Having a supportive birth partner, who can remind you how well you are doing, and can be present if you do need more support, might be all you need.
Some women may even prefer to be in early labour at home in a room alone, so they can focus on their contractions and staying relaxed. Even for these women, having a birth partner in another room can be a good idea. Just knowing there is someone available to be with you if you needed them, can be all the reassurance you may require.
I liked his calmness… he was so confident
Just by being there he helped
I found I could focus better alone
I stayed calm, listened to my body and asked for support when I needed it
As well as my husband, I invited my mum and a couple of good friends to be there with me during the labour, so they could support and nurture me throughout
He was physically supporting my body at time (and was also just) good company, sharing jokes
Find someone you really trust and who you know will understand your needs to be your birth partner. It doesn't have to be your actual partner
Positive birth affirmations are a good thing to look at before you go into labour. They are quotes and phrases that will encourage you to stay positive and calm. Many women like to write these down and read them when labour starts and this can make some people feel confident. It might be useful for your birth partner to read them aloud to you. Sometimes if there comes a point in early labour where you begin to doubt your own abilities, a positive birth affirmation can make you feel powerful and confident again.
Have a “mantra” to focus on. In my case “I can do it, I am doing it”
Each contraction has a purpose
Trust in your body, after all, it has grown your baby
Let the oxytocin flow
Each contraction may last a minute, but you can do ANYTHING for one minute
Each contraction brings you closer to meeting the baby
The power of your labour cannot ever be stronger than you are, because it is you